Adverse health effects due to a strange environment?

I have always dreamed of living under the sea. I have recently constructed the first underwater home. It was extremely costly. Luckily I am a very wealthy university professor of political science and consultant to several local organizations. The underwater habitat is difficult to get to so I work out of the home mostly, via the internet and video conferencing. Now that I live underwater most of the time, I have noticed a strange attraction to this certain octopus. It is NOT a sexual attraction, it is a secret love. I call her Octavia, and I want to marry her. In what country can I legally marry an octopus? Also, how can I be intimate with the octopus without me drowning, her not having enough water, her putting my wiener in danger. Please don't judge me and only true answers. I can afford to build some sort of chamber if that is neccesary.